_{Why Vocal Health Is Important}

We’ve all been there, “I’ve just gotta make it through one more performance”, “I’ll push through this and rest tomorrow”. I too have been here many times, but in 2018 something happened that changed the way I approached my vocal health for the future.

You may feel like a bit of a diva having to cancel or dep performances, but would you tell a runner to run on a swollen foot or ankle?
I know that colds affect everyone differently and some are worse than others, and the one I’m going to tell you about was a particularly bad one. I am not writing this to scare you, but I am writing to inform you and let you know that there is light at the end of the tunnel, but to also know when to take a second and listen to your body.

The Dark Day – and not just because my car lights both blew at the same time

In 2018 I had my usual Christmas cold and by the time my New Years Eve gig was coming around I tried to find a dep, I was very aware that if I couldn’t find a dep we have to forfeit the gig and my band also lose money, this is something I think about a lot when Im ill. I couldn’t find a dep, so instead of saying to the band, I’m sorry I can’t do this, I pushed through. I drove down the M25 to Essex, got to the other side of the Dartford Cross and threw up down myself, catching most of it in my scarf (too much information?..Ah well you know now) I pulled into a service station, took everything I covered off and put them in a bag and wiped down my car with the anti-bac wipes I had in my glove compartment. For the rest of the drive I was humming to myself to keep my voice moving, drinking lemon, ginger and
honey tea, water and praying to the gods to help me through. I arrived at the venue, explained to the band what had happened and didn’t speak for the rest of the evening until we went on, we had 2 X 60 minute sets to do, and we’d agree we’d change a lot of the songs keys and make them much lower, throw in a few extra solo sections and make the crowd do a few “dance offs” anything to make the 60 mins go past with me having to do as little singing as possible. I was so nervous and dreading it. Constantly sipping on my tea, drinking water and sucking on a vocal zone, I got myself on stage and started to sing. As long as all notes were at the bottom of my range I could do it, not brilliantly, but I could get through it. Towards the end of the first set I started to struggle more and more, goodness knows how I am meant to get through the 2nd set. We pushed it back by 5 minutes, now only looking at a 55 minute set, and in all honesty I can’t remember the rest, I remember coming off stage feeling incredibly embarrassed and wanting to get out of there, we packed the PA, put it in the back of my car and I drove back, sadly both the lights in the front of my car blew, so I drove home with full beams on, with people shouting out of their car windows, and beeping their horn the whole way home, because I was blinding them, and yes I was sick down myself again. I got home, got into the shower and broke down.

The Morning After
The next morning I had no control over my voice, I steamed and hummed, but nothing. I couldn’t speak. So I went on total vocal rest for a day, which led into 2 days, which led into a week and before I knew it I was in my second week of minimal voice. It dawned on me that I may have done some damage. I went straight to the doctors who told me to keep drinking water and rest. I became very sad and spent a lot of time in bed eating chocolate, which sounds amazing but I wasn’t in a good mental state. I felt like I’d lost part of me, almost mourning for my voice, singing had been my thing since I was a young child, without that, who am I. I then went to the Musicians Union who told me to get in touch with BAPAM (British Association For Performing Arts Medicine). They gave me a list of voice
specific doctors to get in touch with, and I went back to my NHS doctors who finally diagnosed me with laryngitis and I told them I needed to see an ENT as I believed
something was wrong. I gave them the names of who I wanted to see and I was given an ENT appointment in London in the August of 2019, I was currently in January 2019 and it broke me. I didn’t know you could see people privately at this point – now I am much more clued up.

What Do I Do
I started looking for a new job as I knew I couldn’t sing, but I was unaware of any other skills I had, singing was my whole life. I got more and more low and I was finding comfort in food, so my clothes were getting tighter which didn’t help with my mental state either. I now think I was suffering from depression. All because I sang on a bad cold. I went back to work in the third week of January and found it incredibly hard, I struggled to help my students sing in tune and demonstrate. I explained to them all that I was having vocal issues, and they were very understanding, but I felt like a fraud. Once gig season came around I felt my speaking voice was 100% better and I could sing to teach again, well just about, so I tried one gig on my own. Sadly this feeling of hope was short lived and my voice couldnt withstand the work I needed it to do and it fell to pieces again, I couldn’t sing for more than 30 minutes without my voice completely going. It was horrifying. So I depped out the rest of my gigs for a month and then employed another singer to join me on all future gigs for that year giving them my gig fee. I made barely any money, but I had to work out whether it was my voice or my head that was the issue. I was so nervous about gigging that I self sabotaged myself without realising.

Time To Get Back To It
In order to get myself back on track I started having singing lessons again with the great Chris Johnson. Chris is one of the most knowledgeable people I know, and I have always really enjoyed working with him. He gave me the idea of having laryngeal massages to help relax my muscles in my neck, as they were very tight, and to see Dr Jenevora Williams, a vocal rehab specialist based in Guildford. I soon realised that I’d have to go into central London to getting a vocal massage, and not only did it become very time consuming, it also became very costly, and one point I was going in to central London every few weeks. Alongside seeing all these brilliant people I also started to use a nebuliser to help get moisture to my vocal folds. Both Chris and Jenevora gave me exercises to do and to build up my confidence in singing again.

Since then I have been seeing Holly Saxon, who is a Surrey based vocal massage therapist. She studied under the renowned Voice Care Centre’s – Stephen King, and is very knowledgeable herself, I love that she talks me through every step of the process and is very personable.

Finding More To Life
Once August came I finally had my ENT appointment and I was told I had a cyst on one of my vocal folds and my right side was partially paralysed and I had developed Muscle Tension Dysphonia. Straight away I was sent to vocal rehab at Frimley Hospital and I carried on with singing lessons and sharing my gig loads. As you can imagine the whole thing was very stressful, but I was so glad to finally be having help after 6 months of what felt like complete darkness. I also started to find other hobbies like running and racketball to give me something else to focus on and make new friends outside of music.

4 months later I went to see Dr Declan Costello who gave me the all clear and all the vocal therapy and lessons had worked. Now what was left was my brain. I was terrified of gigging on my own, what if it happened again, and anytime I got a cold I had a melt down and my throat and surrounding area was getting increasingly tighter. It got to the point that I wasn’t making money out of gigging, and I needed to start soon. I’d said yes to three gigs in a row on my own over the Xmas period of 2019, now I look back and think WHY! The first gig went very well, the second not too bad either, the third I woke up in a complete panic with a very low voice, luckily I had my last vocal therapy session that morning and I was fully expecting them to tell me to cancel it. But they didn’t, they gave me a few exercises, calmed me down, and by the end of my session I was ready to go. All 3 gigs were a vocal hit. Sadly, I was getting into an overwhelmed state before most gigs, and 9/10 times the gig would be fine, but I couldn’t stop myself from getting very nervous and panicking, so I started to look into therapy and I had a few sessions until lockdown happened and they were cancelled.

My Big Come Back
Having the 18 months off due to Covid seemed very daunting after the year long journey I had been on, but actually it was needed. I needed the space to fall back in love with singing, and sing for myself without the pressure of gigs and money. I started putting monthly choir arrangements up online and getting my friends to sing them for lockdown videos. It also gave me time to rest my mind and get back to a better place with music and my life in general. Towards the end of the year a lot of what was happening with my voice was to do with mental state, but over the lockdown all the pressure was taken away. By the time we were allowed to gig again I was so excited to get back that singing to a hand full of people, them being outside and the band inside while performing through big open doors (there were a lot of lockdown rules that didn’t really make much sense) was my big come back, and It felt amazing.

What I have personally have learnt from this experience is:
● Be kind to yourself – Don’t get stressed, slow things down in your head and think it through.
● You can tick off the vocal health tick list, but when you’re ill – sometimes you’re ill.
● Steam, daily if possible – steaming relaxes the vocal folds and vocal tract while adding moisture to them.
● Nebulise on gig days, the great thing about this is its not warm, and the hydration from the saline solution sits on top of your vocal folds hydrating them.
● Aim for 2 litres of room temperature water – The vocal folds work best when they are lubricated, but remember liquid’s does not go directly to your vocal folds. Your vocal folds are at the top of your windpipe and you don’t want liquids down there.
● Drink warm drinks, lemon (antiseptic), Ginger (anti-inflammatory) and Honey (full of vitamins)
● Warm up, start gently with humming and work into your straw and water and lip trills and your exercises.
● Complete vocal rest is good, but you don’t want to do it for more than a day, unless your doctor advises it. Get your voice moving with light exercises.
● Sleep is very important.
●Think about your environment the night before a gig, should I be going “out-out” or in a loud place knowing I have to sing for a long amount of time the next day.
● If you are ill and meant to be gigging on Saturday, call it on Wednesday. Yes you could be better, but is it worth the risk? Get someone to cover you, and ask for help if you can’t find anyone.
● Vitamin tablets are your friends, especially in the winter months.
● If needed see a professional. We are here to help.

It is important to note that everyone is different and has different experiences with their voices.
Here are some useful blogs about vocal health and the voice:
Upgrade Your Vocal Steamer For Supreme Hydration!
Vocal Health And The Singer: The No-Nonsense Guide To Building Good Habits

If you think you need some more help and guidance with your voice, come and book a lesson with me via Calendly